Never Buy A Stripper A Drink

It’s been a couple weeks since my last entry in this series and for that I apologize but I am back in the saddle with it once again. For those who need to catch up on what’s going on please click HERE and work your way back through the treacherous path we’ve already gone down. For everyone else, this week we will be jumping into the wayback machine to take a look at a group of musicians who very well may have been the pioneers of the parody song, The Barron Knights.

The Barron Knights formed originally in 1959 in Bedfordshire as a vocal harmony group performing under the name ‘The Knights of the Round Table’. They soon changed this when they discovered the difficulty of fitting their name on a poster, so they went with the shortened version they’ve been known as ever since. They achieved a taste of early success in 1963 when they were invited to open for The Beatles on their Christmas shows in London, and then later that year toured with The Rolling Stones being one of the few groups in history to tour with both acts.

The Barron Knights were doing just fine at this point but it wasn’t until the release of their song, ‘Call Up the Groups’ in 1964 that they actually achieved success on a much higher level. The song was originally done as a stage performance only in which they would parody a small segment of a several bands popular songs including: The Searchers, Freddy and the Dreamers, The Dave Clark Five, The Bachelors, The Rolling Stones and The Beatles. This was not the same type of formula we may be familiar with today via what we’ve seen from our good pal Weird Al, but they did it in way in which they set up each snippet as themselves before sort-of instantly transforming into that group for several bars of the song to continue moving the story along. The particular story they were telling in this song was their version of a bizarro reality in which all the major pop groups were called up into the British Army.

The stage act was so successful that they received major pressure to record it being told that it would surely be a huge hit. While trying to do this, the group was hit with 17 copyright infringement suits that took months to battle against. After being able to convince the various publishers that their song was all in fun it was released in July of 1964 and sold 250,000 copies in the first two weeks. Further sales kept the song in the charts for 14 more weeks after that. Banking on the success of their new-found comedic fame the Knights released another parody song similar in style called ‘Pop Goes the Workers’ in 1965. This song proposed the idea of what would happen if the popular groups at the time, including The Stones and The Supremes, all of a sudden had to go get real jobs with the Knights once again transforming into them on stage giving the audience a glimpse into what these artist’s reaction may be to this startling new development.

The Barron Knights had found their niche and continued to capitalize on it over the years parodying whatever groups were rising to fame thereby keeping themselves and their act fresh and relevant. They’ve had 14 songs in the top 100 on the charts with 5 of them being in the top 10. They have had members come and go over the years with their original lead singer, Duke D’Mond passing away in 2009, but continue to perform to this day putting on a stage show that has been raved about by fans, and according to the ‘Did You Know’ section of their website they have sold more comedy records then any group in history.

The Barron Knights are a band that has inspired and continues to inspire bands that interweave the gentle art of parody and comedy into their music. More importantly have shown that success can be achieved by taking what you’re good at and going with it to the extreme with their unique ‘what if’ views on their mega-popular peers.

To learn more about The Barron Knights visit their official site HERE.

To comment on this article please follow and tweet to @johnwayneisdead

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*Saturday. May 19th. Doors open at 8. Show starts at 9.*
“KiKi’s Sordid Sideshow is heading back to Last Concert Cafe for a wonderful night of twisted vaudeville delights! KiKi’s got some new tricks up her sleeve so you won’t want to miss this. Chicken show girls, sexy fez monkeys, and of course everyones favorite sexy carnival game Miss. Lotta Poppa! Not enough for you? How about Classic burlesque, Circus burlesque, and belly dancing unicorns? But that’s not all! The Braggart Family Side Circus is bringing carnie dare devils to that will shock you into submission while our resident lion taming dominatrix LaLa LeRoux whips you into shape. (AND THIS IS JUST THE FIRST ACT!!!)
MORE ACTS TO BE ANNOUCED SOON!!! ….”

“…This is a VERY SPECIAL Sideshow event as it is also a fundraiser for an artist instillation being build by a very dedicated crew of Texas artist. This may be the only show where you can say, “I’m just here to support art.” The pasties are just a bonus
(Visit singularitytransmissions.com to learn more about the project)

Pre-sale available at SordidSideshow.com
xoxo”

_KiKi Maroon

Here’s a taste of a past Sordid Sideshow:

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Those wacky, sonic-bending, ne’er-do-wells Letters to Voltron are leaving the safety of their glorious Mother-Ship, The Mansion, to stretch their legs and work on their farmer-tans. Also, they will thoroughly and completely rocking your faces off with little to no concern for your well being. If you happen to be in the area come out and see the boys in all their glorious glory!

May 12th @ The Circle Bar, NOLA
May 18th @ Zombies, San Antonio, TX
May 19th @ Trophy’s, Austin, TX

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Last night when Austin’s One Eyed Doll took the stage at Walter’s in Houston the very energy in the room grew to an electrically charged, tingly fire before they had even struck a single note. One Eyed Doll is a band that is know for impressive, unrelenting, power-packed live shows where making sure the audience is involved and has fun is the among the highest of priorities. This show was of course no exception as an over-abundance of fun was given out in huge doses to the lucky audience members. It seemed to radiate from the stage in warm comforting waves while the duo, consisting of Kimberly Freeman and Jason Sewell AKA Junior, conjured the magic that is their music through their own special brand of theatrics and performance art.

Now, don’t mistake me when I use the word ‘theatrics’ because what One Eyed Doll does is 110%, teeth smashing, face beating, absolute and total annihilating rock-n-roll that stands on its own without the additional visuals and crowd participation that are unique to their live set. This can be a tricky thing for some bands to pull off that rely heavily on what they do live verses what they are able to capture on their recordings. This is something that One Eyed Doll does not struggle with, as their albums are rock solid with Kimberly’s soulful, siren-like voice luring you toward the repeat button as you find yourself listening again and again.

Last night’s show opened with the band having Kayla and Tayler Smith of the Houston band, The Scars Heal in Time, get up and use their instruments to play them on stage. Things like this are common at One Eyed Doll shows as they continue to be one of the few bands that actually care enough to interact with their fans on a regular basis through the shows, social media, and even plain old snail mail as Kimberly regularly sends out personalized letters to fans who purchase music and donate to them through their web site. This is one the key reasons their fans feel such a passionate connection for the band and are willing to help spread the One Eyed Doll gospel to the masses.

For the next hour we were treated to a powerful performance as Kimberly and Junior barreled through their set with the force of giant sea creatures destroying a major metropolis showing no signs of slowing down or wear and tear for a band that’s been on the road constantly for the better part of a year touring with Mushroomhead, Wayne Static, Orgy and currently Japanese comic-book punk rockers Peelander-Z. Kimberly captivated first time attendees with her breaks for ‘story time’ that would start sweet and innocent just before erupting into hair-whipping, head-butting, stage-diving madness. By the time Kimberly called for her ‘mandatory encore’ it seemed like the show was over all too soon, but an audience satiated for the time being followed as she leapt from the stage and headed to the merch booth. There, she and Junior stayed for as long as people were coming up to take pictures, sign autographs, or just talk to their fans without turning a single person away.

One Eyed Doll is a relentlessly hard working band that has achieved so much and deserves every bit of the success. I look forward to seeing them again and to see what’s coming up for them on the horizon.

For more information on One Eyed Doll and to get their music visit their official site HERE.

To comment on this review please follow and tweet to: @johnwayneisdead

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After writing the latest installment in my series on ‘Joke Bands’ about The Dead Milkmen I was struck with a thought inspired by their song, ‘Punk Rock Girl’. (If you want to catch up on what I’m referring to click HERE for the full story.) Anyway, I probably listened to that song well over two dozen times as I was writing and I started thinking about just who this said ‘punk rock girl’ was. Then, I thought about other songs I was familiar with that also, in some way or another, made reference to this mystery girl. Then. I started thinking even more about my own feelings for the ‘punk rock girls’ that have come and gone through my life, and that’s when I figured it out. There is no such thing as this girl in real life. Like the Bigfoot or the Lochness Monster, or even Jesus she doesn’t exist but is made to seem real through songs in which her existence has been romanticized to the point of near perfection.

I’ll start first with what inspired this for me; The Dead Milkmen’s ‘Punk Rock Girl’ from their 1988 album, Beelzebubba. This song starts off with (vocalist/guitarist) Genaro taking a walk to Zipperheads where he meets a girl who almost ‘knocks him dead’. From then on he tells of how they go on a grand adventure of jumping on tables in restaurants, taunting record store clerks, meeting her parents, and even engaging in grand theft auto. Every verse ends with the line that you are singing right along to by the end of the song; “Just you and me Punk Rock Girl” enticing you to play the song again and again to relive the adventure you wish you could have. An interesting, but what I feel to be an accurate choice, is that in the video for this song the ‘punk rock girl’ is only shown from the back leaving you to fill in the details of what lies under that glorious shock of a purple mohawk. By removing any true identity of this girl visually they were able to show the fictitious-ness of her while lyrically proclaiming her perfection.

In The Queers song ‘Punk Rock Girls’ from their 1996 album, Don’t Back Down, Joe Queer takes a different approach while still conveying the same idea. The song rips into a description of characteristics he sees as being synonymous with ‘Punk Rock Girls’ that has him saying “gosh I’d love to love them all” by the fourth line, and by the end of the first chorus he declares that ‘punk rock girls’ are basically all that is needed to heal the world of all problems. Rather than citing one specific girl in this song The Queers talk about all the different things that make up ‘Punk Rock Girls’, or it could be looked at like all the different things that would make up the quintessentially perfect ‘Punk Rock Girl’. In the video for this song they take an opposite approach than the Dead Milkmen by flashing images of many different girls displaying the things they are singing about, but again there is not depicted in the lyrics or video a single girl that embodies all of these things further adding to the myth that she is.

Another song adding to the lore of the ‘Punk Rock Girl’ that has always held a special place in my heart is Reel Big Fish’s ‘Alternative Baby’ off their 1996 album, Turn the Radio Off. In this song front man Aaron Barrett croons about the girl at their shows that he admires from afar even though he proclaims that he’s singing all his songs to her. He keeps her a mystery to even himself by not wanting to talk to her because he knows ‘he’ll just say something stupid’, or that she’ll ‘know what he’ll turn out to be’. He doesn’t even give her or himself a chance thereby being able to keep the idea in his head of what he imagines her to be without having it shattered through their actual meeting. Its like he’s saying its better to maintain your personal perception of what someone is or could be like rather then having to deal with the disappointment of what they’re really like after meeting them.

Who could forget The Ramones’ ‘Sheena is a Punk Rocker’ from their 1977 album Rocket to Russia. This song could be the first inspiration for our elusive ‘punk rock girl’ as we’re told her story of breaking away from the surf scene to head to New York City to be a punk rocker. The majority of the song is spent stating the unwavering declaration that Sheena is indeed a Punk Rocker, but you’re left to wonder if Joey sang of this same girl a year earlier on their 1976 self titled debut in the song ‘I Wanna’ Be Your Boyfriend’.

Does this mythical perfect ‘Punk Rock Girl’ exist, or is she merely a projection of what these artists wish was real based on their personal experiences and meeting of different girls? Like the Yetti or the Chupacabra we may never know, however, I like to believe that somewhere out there a perfect ‘Punk Rock Girl’ of some kind does indeed exist for everyone and its through songs like this that hope is derived. I know there are plenty of other songs out there that share this same sentiment that I did not mention, or perhaps some that even prove undeniably that this girl DOES exist. Please feel free to share them with me or comment on this article in general by following and tweeting to @johnwayneisdead. Until then, I will simply agree with Joe Queer when he said: “Yummy, Yummy punk rock girls”. Yummy, Yummy indeed . . .

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HEAR… yarns of grand adventure! HEAR… tales of triumph! HEAR… fancy feats of strength! HEAR… Boo of Downfall 2012, Fuckin’ Laur Laur, Marty Sauce of Letters to Voltron, & the dogmatic “Monseigneur Diaz”! HEAR… our loosely wound ramblings of hot pants, epic stage presence, mistaken identity, phantom harmonicas, penil/anal tattoos, texting while driving, unicyclist predators, modern music listening habits, wizard-tips, & much much more!!

SEE… nothing… This IS an audio podcast after all… But, if you shut your peepers really tight & conjure up the deepest dankest regions of your imagination you may experience the grandest vision quest your tender sweet-cheeks have ever vision-quested!! Join us, won’t you?! You’ve come this far. What do you have to lose?! …huh, tough guy?!!

play episode here

or right-click to download mp3 here –>

Leave us a message to be played on the show by calling the Chainsaw Memorial Pussy Grout Hot-line! @ (713)FXN-2CUM or enter your number into the widget below:

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MUSIC PLAYED THIS WEEK:
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At 10:46 you heard “Them Jeans” by Master P from his 2004 album, ‘Good Side, Bad Side’. It can be found on his 2006 compilation album, ‘The Ultimate Master P’.
Get it here –>

At 31:49 you heard “I’m Going to Fuck You on the Dancefloor Tonight, Tonight, Tonight” by Letters to Voltron from their new EP, ‘The Tonal Travel Legends of Our Dripping Future’.
Get it here –>

At 50:14 you heard “Fuck You” by Wesley Willis, from his 1999 ‘Greatest Hits, Vol. 2′ album.
Get it here –>

At 1:08:05 you heard The Missin’ Link’s 2011 single, “Candy Girl”.
Get it here on iTunes –>

At 1:26:50 you heard “Face to Face” by Downfall 2012 from their new EP, ‘Every Man For Himself, Issue 1′. It’s currently available at their live shows & includes their comic book by A.Tomic, the mad scientist! You can also order it on CD Baby.com.
Get it here –>

At the end of the show your heard “Am I a Psycho?” by Tech N9ne from his 2011 album, ‘All 6’s and 7’s’.
Get it here –>

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By the time local Houston metal maestros Downfall 2012 took the stage at Bayou Music Center (formerly Verizon Wireless Theatre) last Friday (March 23rd) the anticipation had risen high enough to send waves of excitement rippling through the crowd. Tiny glimpses of props and screens displaying the protagonist from the band’s new album, Everyman for Himself: Issue 1, could be seen barely peaking out from the wings further sparking the curiosity of those who had no idea what they were in store for. The band members and stage crew could be seen strolling coolly through the crowd during the opening band’s sets donning a steam-punk look that played heavily into the visual theatrics of their set for the evening.

*click images to embiggen

When the lights dimmed and the song ‘Breakfast Machine’ from the greatest movie ever made, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure faded in over the house you could feel the audience begin to collectively lose their shit. Two stilt-walking beauties emerged from the wings dressed as an angel and a devil, alluding to the ‘struggle between right and wrong’ theme found on Downfall 2012’s new album. Once the first chord was struck Danny Gil (guitar/vocals), Boo Rogers (bass) and Casey Bowen (drums) were off and running with a constant musical pummeling that kept the crowd engaged in every aspect of the show that included many surprises.

Besides turning in a stellar, power-packed performance the show was peppered with nuances that kept everyone guessing what was coming next. Midway through the set front man Danny Gil directed the audience’s attention to a second stage to their left containing two 300-pound ice blocks. Between those blocks stood Houston’s own chainsaw wielding ice-sculptor extraordinaire, The Reverend Butter. For the next three songs he sliced and diced his way through the blocks with his own patented flair for the dramatic as the crowd cheered him on while begging for an arctic blast to the face. When he was done a giant icy 2012 was left as a further testament to the band’s achievements.

*click images to embiggen

Other appearances included Mr. Everyman himself joining the band on stage while decreeing from his blaring bullhorn “A great change is coming! Force will be used accordingly”, a scene taken directly from the new record. During their cover of Lady Ga Ga’s Poker Face Laurie LaSalle (aka Fuckin’ Laur Laur) grabbed the mic vehemently ‘spitting the rhyme’ during the breakdown of the song. The show concluded with a metal-makeover version of Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues during which Ashe Young joined the band on stage to apply his blisteringly flashy guitar work.

All in all this show was packed with exciting entertainment through and through and should be counted as a huge win for the band, as well as the entire local Houston music scene. It was evident that much work went into putting this show together and judging from the results it paid off ten times over. Hopefully this inspires other artists in attendance to follow suit in their own way as the bar has now officially been raised. If you weren’t at this show, well too bad because you missed an incredible ride, but never fear because the Downfall boys will be back at it again soon enough. For more information and future performance dates please visit: www.downfall2012.com.

To comment on this article please follow and tweet to: @johnwayneisdead

Photos by NBSD’s own Nick P. “Like” his Shot n Chopped Digital Media Facebook fan-page at facebook.com/shotnchopped.

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Onward down the gumdrop path and marshmallow lane we continue into my series on ‘Joke Bands’. Once again, if you’re just tuning in and want to see what has already been covered and discussed click HERE for the last installment . To those who have been participating in discussions about this since the series started it is much appreciated so please keep it up and let me know what you think.

My purpose in starting this was to show the difference between being a ‘joke band’ in the sense that even though you are a serious artist you more than dabble in the humorous side of things intentionally trying to make people laugh, and being an artist that is just considered a joke. Now, I realize these are all very personal feelings that stem from perception and tastes so I’m not here to call out anyone for being a joke or a hack. I’m merely trying to shed light on artists who have made fine use of humor in what they do and how that can sometimes mislead a section of the ‘general listening populace’ to consider their career to be less than serious. If I can persuade even one person from changing this perception they may have of these types of artists, then I will feel accomplished. Now, that said I’m off my soapbox and ready to delve into this installment’s focal point, The Dead Milkmen.

The Dead Milkmen are another glorious band that simply did what they wanted to do and said what they wanted to say using razor-sharp, tongue puncturing cheek satire and close-to-home hitting honesty sprinkled with a punk rock mentality. The concept originally started as a home-recording project by singer/guitarist Joe Genaro and was an imaginary band complete with an invented back-story whose adventures were documented on cassette tape. It was revealed by Genaro that the name for his project came from the character ‘Milkman Dead’ in Toni Morrison’s book, Song of Solomon. Two years later while attending Temple University in Philadelphia Genaro recruited bassist Dave Schulthise, drummer Dean Sabatino, and later keyboardist/vocalist Rodney Linderman to bring The Dead Milkmen to life.

After becoming a staple in the Philadelphia scene they began touring extensively throughout the country selling homemade cassette tapes until their first major release, Big Lizard in My Backyard, came out on Restless Records in 1985. The most recognized song on the album that got them tons of college radio play was the all-time fan favorite, Bitchin’ Camaro. This classic ditty told the age old tale of receiving your first car that your parents drove down to you from the Bahamas, and then how you took that car to the shore and saw favorite cover band, Crystal Shit, at The Sand Bar where they always let 16 year-olds drink. Ahhh, precious memories.

The band received attention on a larger scale with the 1988 release of their somewhat more polished album, Beelzebubba, which contained the song Punk Rock Girl. The song went into massive rotation on MTV helping to put their album at 101 on the Billboard Top 200. The song had an endearing honesty about it in the way Genaro sang of meeting the mythically perfect punk rock girl that would give the finger to the world with you while screaming anarchy at the top your collective lungs, and then steal a car with you. This song itself is funny which probably helped it gain so much popularity but it was a story that wasn’t necessarily meant to be funny or un-funny. It just was what it was and by being that it maintained the connection the Dead Milkmen had with their longtime fans despite their sudden newfound popularity.

In 1990 the band released Metaphysical Graffiti, which would be their last record on Restless for the time being. On this record they took a mighty stab at all religion in general with the song Methodist Coloring Book. In the song Genaro tells how god hates war and crime, but ‘he really hates it when you color outside the lines’ basically conveying the sentiment that if you feel like thinking for yourself and forming your own views and opinions on things that fall outside of religion’s ‘rules’ you’re going to hell. This is another excellent song that comes across as ‘funny’, but maybe because laughter is a knee-jerk reaction brought on when some people are forced to face simple yet brazen honesty that they don’t expect. Needless to say this one wasn’t being sung around the fire at church youth group camp outs.

In 1991 the band parted ways with Restless and signed with the Disney owned Hollywood Records. They released two albums with the label: Soul Rotation and Not Richard, But Dick. Neither garnered near the success of their earlier work due large in part to the records being slightly ‘cleaner’ and less edgy. This caused a lot of die hard, original fans to lose interest in the Milkmen and after this and other issues with the label, commercial success in general, and the fact that Schulthise developed tendinitis in his hands the band decided to break up in 1994. In 1995 Restless released what was thought to be the final studio album from the band, Stoney’s Extra Stout (Pig) along with several compilations.

In 2004 sadly Schulthise committed suicide and the band reunited to play two consecutive shows in his memory a few months later with Dan Stevens of The Low Budgets on bass. Four years later the same incarnation of the group came together to play a few other shows including Austin’s Fun Fun Fun Fest before deciding to continue on as band once again. They entered the studio two years later and in 2011 released their latest album, The King in Yellow, and toured behind it, which they are still doing today. (Find current Dead Milkmen dates HERE!!!)

The Dead Milkmen are another absolutely great band that could easily be placed in the category of ‘joke bands’ but I really don’t think this would dissuade anyone who cares about them. They were honest, great storytellers with something to say, and damn funny as hell. You may listen and find they’re not for you, but if you like what they do and you get it they can easily become one of your favorite bands very quickly, and in a big way.

For more on The Dead Milkmen visit their official site HERE.

To comment on this article please follow and tweet to @johnwayneisdead

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